So a few months ago, I got back onto my blog, and thought WOW in a couple of months it will be a year since I've blogged. Not really in the mood to blog right then either, I told myself, well... when it does hit a year, I'll start blogging again and maybe no-one will notice. You see, it would be the same month on the blog, just a whole year later. Well, as you can see, I couldn't even manage to start back up when I hit a year. So my trick won't work. Who am I trying to kid anyways? I know I haven't blogged for over a year... it's my blog. The insanity that enters my brain sometimes. "Let's see, maybe I can kid myself?" Geesh! I really hope that I will continue to at least get some things down. I do have a confession to make however. Over this last year I have gotten on blogger, I just didn't write anything. I read a lot of blogs. I usually got on Heather Harris' or my daughter Alyse's blog and enjoyed trying to keep updated with people through their blogs. So, if you're in my ward or a friend or relative of Alyse's, I know a heck of a lot more about what has gone on with you this past year then you know about me. I must thank all of you. I have laughed, cried, worried and wondered with you. I have had days where what you wrote helped get me through what I'm going through. There were even times when I thought, "Hey, she's just as crazy as I am!" Although that's pretty much impossible! So, I thank you! And yes, I am Alive! Some days are easier than others, but when you think about it, it's that way for everyone. We all have our own set of trials and tribulations, and while some might not be as debilitating as mine can be at times, they certainly are as real, as troubling, and as crazy as mine. Some, I might add, make me grateful that I have the problems I have. A lot has gone on this last year, as it had the year before. Not all of it has been bad, in fact much of it was fantastic. I hope I can recapture some of those moments, and capture the ones to come.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Well, yesterday was Dave's birthday. The day before had been a tough one, so I was kind of shook, because I wanted him to have a special day.(Even though he could care less about his birthday).(Me, I want to be celebrated the whole week)! Anyways, we spent a majority of it at the Dr.'s office. Good news is that I walked a way from my appointment feeling like I had made some progress. I know, I know what your thinking. Don't set yourself up for a let down! But...these days I have to set myself up for something and thinking positive is the set I have chosen. I was even up to having Dave's sister's family over for Brats and Ice Cream Sundaes, and I actually found myself having a good time and not just wondering when everyone would leave so I could stop pretending I felt okay. And to top it all off, the six months of each year that I have to endure being a year older than Dave is over. We now both have six months of being 46. Of course, then I'll have to endure the next six months being older than him again, but you know what? If that is my biggest crisis in six months...HOORAY!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Sometimes in our lives we are blessed with tender mercies when we least expect it. Yesterday Alyse and Brynne decided that their mom was in a great need of a make-over. Due to medications or the combinations of, I have about half the hair that I had. It was falling out and something needed to be done. Alyse told me to trust her, and I knew that I could. If you know me, you know what a hard time I have with cutting my hair, especially the length, but it really had become a must! She took a "Work at Home Day" and spent her valuable time with me, trying to help me feel better about myself and my most recent dilemmas. She and Brynne even went out and bought me a few new things hoping that that might help lift my spirits. Mind you this comes at the discust in the fact that after being stagnant for the last 5 months, the pounds have crept on, or should I rather say, eagerly lept on and pathetically none of my clothes fit. (Atleast none of them that they approve of). I feel so blessed to have such wonderful children, with such great sensitivity. I can promise them that I am doing and will continue to do everything I can to get well. They each deserve to have the Mom that takes care of them. I love you each so much!
Monday, March 10, 2008
Sunday, March 9, 2008
IT'S SUNDAY!...LET THE GAMES BEGIN! OOPS!! OF COURSE I GENUINELY REFER TO THE JOYS OF GETTING EVERYONE READY FOR CHURCH. EACH FAMILY MEMBER HOPING TO HELP ONE ANOTHER WITH SIMPLE, ANGELIC LOOKS ON THEIR FACES, AND HALOS RISING PERFECTLY FROM THEIR BEINGS! I INCLUDE MOM AND DAD IN THIS DESCRIPTION. NOT TO MENTION ANY OTHER FAMILY MEMBER OR FRIEND EAGER TO ATTEND CHURCH WITH YOU. BUT LO...MY HEALTH DOES NOT QUITE ALLOW ME YET TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS SERENE EXPERIENCE, SO I WILL WAIT ANXIOUSLY TO HEAR OF YOURS, KNOWING THAT WITH THE PATIENCE OF JOB WE CAN ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING. REMEMBER CHRIST SAID,
"I NEVER SAID IT WOULD BE EASY,
I ONLY SAID IT WOULD BE WORTH IT!"
Saturday, March 8, 2008
With Spring Break 2008 here, it makes me so aware of how I long to be at my safe place, my haven, if you will. Growing up in Southern California this place is of course the beach. The sound of the ocean, the touch of the sand, the smiles of sunburned faces. I am detemined to steadily become better and stronger so that I can enjoy our family trip planned for June. Sometimes just looking through old pictures of fond memories makes you feel stronger and gives you the motivation to keep trying. No matter how hard!
Friday, March 7, 2008
Aside from my children, this is what keeps me busiest right now. Seven, Beautiful Brittany Puppies. One boy and six girls. They were born coincidentally on February 14th, 2008, Valentine's Day, and have brougth a lot of love and joy into our home.